Raising children is no joke – but good parents tell them anyway.
Lots of love and even more laughter: that’s the not-so-secret recipe parents should follow to create great, long-lasting relationships with their children, according to new findings from Penn State University.
“Humor can teach people cognitive flexibility, relieve stress, and promote creative problem-solving and resilience,” Benjamin Levi, lead author of the July study, revealed in a release Monday.
“My father used humor and it was very effective,” continued the professor of pediatrics and humanities at Penn State College of Medicine. “I use humor in my clinical practice and with my children.”
“The question became, how do I use humor constructively?”
It’s an age-old problem that has baffled parents for years: is it better to be firm or friendly with their children?
A recent survey of over 2,000 mothers and fathers with children under the age of 6 found that the majority of adults (92%) feel that engaging in playful activities with their children is important for their overall growth and development. Respondents also indicated that silly pastimes such as dancing, tossing a ball back and forth, or engaging in a game of Duck-Duck-Goose were great ways to share a few lies with their little ones.
And the fun doesn’t have to stop once the baby grows up.
According to a June 26 poll conducted in honor of “National Day of Happiness,” 58% of Americans age 40 and older call mom and dad their best friends. Instead of hanging out with people from their own generation, grown children prefer to spend quality time with their parents at shopping malls, concerts and vacations abroad.
For their assessment, Levi and his team surveyed 312 people between the ages of 18 and 45. Researchers determined that humor not only positively affects an adult’s relationship with their parents, but also benefits his/her relationship with their children. .
“More than half [of the participants] said they were raised by people who used humor, and 71.8% agreed that humor can be an effective parenting tool,” the release states. “Most said they use or plan to use humor with their children and believe it has more potential benefits than harm.”
And levity has eternal values.
“Of those who reported that their parents used humor, 50.5% said they had a good relationship with their parents, and 44.2% reported that they thought their parents did a good job parenting them,” the report noted.
“On the other hand, of those who said their parents did not use humor, only 2.9% reported a good relationship with their parents, and 3.6% reported that they thought their parents did a good job of parented them.”
Lucy Emery, a co-author of the study, added that a little lightheartedness often acts as a panacea in high-pressure scenarios – whether at work or at home.
“There’s an interesting parallel between business and parenting, both of which are hierarchical,” said the UPS medical student. “In business, humor has been shown to help reduce hierarchies, create better environments for collaboration and creativity, and diffuse tension.”
“While parent-child relationships are more loving than business relationships,” Emery admitted, “stressful situations happen a lot during parenting.”
“Humor can help diffuse this tension and hierarchy and help both parties feel better in a stressful situation.”
In an attempt to more deeply explore the impact of joy on a child’s growth, the investigators plan to analyze a larger and more diverse group of parents, as well as collect qualitative research based on the parents’ experience using humor.
“My hope is that people learn to use humor as an effective parenting tool,” Levi said. “Not only to diffuse the tension, but [to] develop cognitive and emotional resilience and flexibility in themselves and model it for their children.”
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